


advanced standing

by indemnis



Series: B.A.P Bingo Challenge [10]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 17:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4929103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indemnis/pseuds/indemnis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are all humans, but somehow Himchan and Yongguk lead very different paths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	advanced standing

**Author's Note:**

> For the B.A.P Bingo Challenge Square: Childhood Friends

We are confined behind the rules we make for ourselves and are contented being held captive within them. What world would we live in if not for a few laws laid down, several do’s and don’ts to govern our weak human minds that are incapable of abiding our wisest instincts?

“Sir,” he calls out quietly, the wilful young master waves his arm and huffs, snaking his way to the pavilion.

He is larger, older and wiser, but he lets the younger boy act as he wishes.

Their places in life has been set out the minute they were both brought into this world, a distance marked by social hierarchy, delivered into different rungs of the ladder of human society and status.

“It is absolutely unacceptable of them to treat you in this manner.” Himchan’s voice is small, weak and guilty of his advantage in his social position.

Yongguk shakes his head, leaning over and head still bowed. He wants to laugh, because Himchan is twenty and the young master of the Kim residence, the successor of his father’s wealth and he is to reap more profit, more wealth, securing their place in the realm of humankind—only up, never down.

He is all modes of successful, yet he lives in naivety, what Yongguk supposes comes with being the cream of the crop. Having only tasted the sweet, only the fortunate are capable of complaining about the state of affairs in which they can indulge, while the unfortunate are tasked to toil to the depths of their bones, not even having the slightest ability or time to moan about life.

“There is no need for you to be furious, Sir. Such is life and Fate is often cruel.”

Himchan chokes on his words because Yongguk is the one bearing the hardship and he’s forced to hyper-analyse his own misery, a mission Himchan has tortured him into doing.

“I apologise. I really shouldn’t have—”

“Sir—”

“Have we not talked of this? There is no one present; please call me by my name. We are of the same age—this is the basic amount of respect any human deserves.”

Yongguk smiles, a bitter one.

“It is most unfortunate that in this world we live in, some are humans, some are elites and others are not-quite-humans. Perhaps that is my place in this existence, Himchan. Age hardly factors in anything when there is an entire system created with the intention of keeping us in our respective spheres.

They should never intersect, Himchan. It is prophesised that great calamity shall befall unto us if we trifle with the workings of society or evade the rules.”

Himchan ponders, wonders if saying these words will have him sent to the dungeons. “Have you perhaps for a moment considered if there isn’t a higher power after all?”

Yongguk is flustered, his eyes widening to the size of saucers, shooting furtive glances around them. “I beg you, Sir, please do not speak of such things ever again—blasphemy, indeed, to welcome the notion that Fate and God do not exist, that humans, us measly humans, are capable of controlling our own lives!”

Himchan laughs, thinking that it is indeed people like Yongguk who are fearful of the deities that have allowed their power to spread and there can never be answers to whether their faith has been placed in the correct imaginary hands.

He takes a quick look at Yongguk, noting the older boy’s calloused hands, his broad shoulders and large frame, the way he grows muscles at all the right places from labour, but his torso cuts in and his ribs are jutting out, a thin layer of skin stretched over it. Himchan feels it—fear, a different kind from Yongguk’s, the way that sends jolts of numbness through his body and pricks to his heart.

There are all kinds of impossibilities in their world and breaking from the mould is a leap Himchan doesn’t know if he has the courage to take. He thinks he likes Yongguk, maybe more than the normal superior-subordinate relationship, maybe even more than the friendship he likes to think they have.

Yongguk still looks perplexed from Himchan’s train of thought, but the young master merely shakes his head, gesturing at the pot of tea on the stone table. Yongguk pours him a cup and Himchan takes over the pot, filling another up and bringing it to Yongguk.

The servant is confused but takes it, holds it, and Himchan instructs him to drink it. Yongguk does, a sense of gratitude coursing through him.

He likes how Himchan levels him up to his position, never treating him as inferior; he is always more of a friend than a caretaker.

“Do you remember how we used to chase butterflies here?”

Yongguk smiles at the memory.

“Yes, I do. The memory remains vivid. You have always had the slower reflexes.” Yongguk whispers, half expecting the younger boy to throw a fit, but the young master merely chuckles and nods, putting his cup to his lips.

“Ah, yes, indeed. It most definitely did not help, whatnot with me being sheltered and kept under layers of wool and linen and silk and cocooned in affection, pampered left and right.”

“You are less spoilt than many other young masters we have had the honour to be acquainted with, if you’d allow me to guiltily express a lowly opinion.”

Himchan smiles, the ends of his lips pull up, but his eyes lose their twinkle. “We are friends here, Yongguk. No opinion should be known as a lowly one, regardless of age and status.”

“Yes, you are most right.” Yongguk feels elation, a pressure against his chest as Himchan nods, filling his own cup to the brim.

“Say, if you weren’t Yongguk from the Bang family and if I weren’t Himchan from the Kim family and if we were to be equals—in all sense of the word—do you think we would end up being friends?”

Yongguk considers the question. He isn’t incapable of critically analysing the many philosophical questions his young master throws his way, but perhaps his narrow ability to think stems from his lack of education. Himchan asks questions that cripple his intellect, enquiries that make him wonder why his young master should be interested in things that do not have definite answers, which makes him seem all the more intelligent.

“Perhaps not.”

Himchan laughs. “Do you mean to say that you would dislike me as a person should you be as wealthy as I am?”

Yongguk has obviously relaxed his stance from the way that he doesn’t take Himchan’s self-deprecating jokes seriously. He shakes his head.

“I merely believe that it is Fate that has led us to our places in life and if I were to be as wealthy as yourself, perhaps I lose the opportunity to meet you. There are steps in which our deities have mapped out our lives for us and I would suppose if I had to gain some, I would lose some.”

“You mean to say that the lack of my acquaintance would be a loss to you?”

Yongguk smiles, looking more like a grin. “Most definitely, Himchan.”

Himchan likes the way his name bounces off his lips—it has a particular ring to it when Yongguk says it. Perhaps it is due to the sole reason that he does not have many chances to use it—the last time his father had caught Yongguk addressing Himchan by his name, Yongguk had twenty under the rod and his workload tripled.

“Do you know why you were assigned to me, Yongguk? Instead of a nanny, instead of being made to hang out with other kids, I would only play with you?”

Yongguk looks at Himchan—he hadn’t really thought about this before. Indeed, it was more appropriate of Himchan to be playing with Young Master Yoo from across the street or Scholar Moon’s son who lives around the corner.

Why Yongguk? Why a filthy servant whose whole family was saved from a huge fire in their house and therefore in their gratitude, decided to devote themselves to serving their saviours?

“Why?”

“I’ve already said—I was a spoilt child that could get anything he wanted. I remember my father opposing vehemently to me playing with the cook’s son; there were so many children out there who were born from great families and they would prove themselves worthy of acquaintance.”

“Yes, but why me?”

“At that point of time I just thought you were a nice person—you always had a smile on your face, even in the most depressing of times, even when your mother had passed on. Maybe it was your smile. Maybe it was how you kept up with what you promised—you had devoted yourself to our family and you stayed devoted, never missing a single beat.

I liked that, I reckon.

However, on retrospect, perhaps I did it to protect you. There was a great possibility that I knew what it was going to be—that people were less accepting towards someone with less of something they were proud of owning and therefore found a need to step on them to come above everything.

Since I was incapable of bringing down an entire hierarchy, I presume I could only shelter you from being bullied and as pathetic as that sounds, the only way was to drag you into my circle and make you one of _us_ , so that you were seen as included, as part of the community. Perhaps then you would be able to escape the cycle of being caught in poverty and the lower rungs.”

Yongguk tries hard to understand, comprehending the logic but not the motivation. “But why _me_? There are plenty of other people in my position who could use the inclusion.”

Himchan smiles.

“Maybe I liked you. Perhaps I still do, in a way that isn’t and shouldn’t be acceptable, but who is to tell what might happen in the future?

Perhaps I just wanted to do everything in my power to shield you from greater evil powers, not wondering about or expecting reciprocation.”

Himchan sips on his tea and he feels his face turning hot, but he moves away from Yongguk and the servant is left dumbfounded at the confession.

“I thoroughly enjoy your company, Himchan, but I do not know if I am capable of—”

“Don’t worry about it; only the wealthy have the capacity to fantasise about impossibilities and with their power attempt to test the limits of humankind and challenge its rules. I’m not blaming you. This lifetime, perhaps even the next, or the next, we will not be able to see ourselves capable of being in a relationship of that sort.

It does not matter. I am contented being the fence that separates you from the vile wealthy people who are ready to pounce on you simply because you were born less fortunate than them.”

“Himchan, you don’t have to. I do not need protection—”

“You say this because you have forgotten the number of times I have stood up for you before my wealthy acquaintances or even my own parents. You live in luck and fortune, even if it does not seem to be the case. I am not a martyr, Yongguk, and I do not claim to be.

I just wish to be honest about my feelings and lament about our current situation.”

Himchan puts his cup down and turns to look at Yongguk, eyebrows raised in anticipation and a quirky smile by his lips.

“Please be born again, in another lifetime, where we meet as equals, where we are in a world that does not condescend the need for two males to be honest with their own feelings for each other.

Please be born again and fall in love with me.”

Yongguk stills, not sure how to answer him. But promising something you cannot control is always easy—always blame it on chance and improbabilities.

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the end of the bapbingo challenge! Firstly I'd like to thank the organisers yaya and ember for holding the challenge. It has been a great honour to participate in it and I've enjoyed writing more works for the fandom. I hope all of you have enjoyed my works so far as well.
> 
> Secondly, to my Twitter friends who have given me inspiration and encouraging messages on my fics: (in no particular order) Sanni, Kim, Manny, Nic, Yaya, Feifei, Alina, Yana and Amy. Thank you all of you for reading and even if you haven't, thank you for always being there. Through this challenge I've had the misfortune of dealing with an arduous family break-up and things had been difficult and there were times where participating in this challenge seemed so much more menial. Thank you to the challenge, for allowing me to keep a tiny bit of my discipline and vent my frustration through writing.
> 
> While all the wonderful news of B.A.P coming back in November is around us all, I of course hope our boys will soar to greater heights and that all will go well for everybody. I wish everyone the best and perhaps this last prompt story is a little heavy in content, but it is the outcome of an intense existential crisis that had left me in tears on various occasions, but also a clearer and better view on our existence and the world's workings. I hope all of you do whatever it is that makes you happy, and remember that the only important thing in your lives is your existence and by extension, your own happiness.
> 
> I leave you here and I will most definitely be back with more fic, so stay tuned!  
> Thank you for reading and I love you all.
> 
> Bella


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